Chronic illness and life

Dear readers,

This last week has been a bad one. I had a cold and chest infection to boot and still suffering with my chest. I have had a lot of time to think about things and I wanted to write this post to my friends and family.

My friends, since becoming ill have dwindled overtime. Although I can honestly say that those that are still in my life are the best ones I have ever had. Being as I am, I have to cancel things last minute, reschedule etc and I feel awful for it. Unfortunately it’s the way of the condition, you do not know from one day to the next how you will be. Everyday you wake up you wonder what today will bring. Will I be in a lot of pain, how’s the fatigue, did I do too much yesterday? A lot of things can trigger off my pain and fatigue and I have to be very aware of this. 

Having people understand what I am going through is key, also understanding how it affects them too. Everyday I have some level of pain and fatigue. Usually my shoulders, hips, hands and wrists hurt all the time regardless of what I have done. Other things tend to be triggered by what I have done the day before. Did I walk too far without aids, did I do too much housework or push myself too hard mentally? Pacing is very important I know however, sometimes we are our own worst enemies and push through to get things done and then we crash.

I have had friends and family come along to my support group meetings. They have stood by me when I’m down, in pain or generally feeling poop. I may not have been good company but they don’t care. They are there for me as I would be for them. I love them all dearly. My life wouldn’t be the same without them and I wouldn’t even want to imagine this. 

When I think of times that I have felt so low because of my pain, I smile now because I remember things that people have said and done to support me. My husband is wonderful, he will run hot baths, make cups of tea and cuddle me through it. My friends will come and see me, sit with me and chat with a cupper. Sometimes we will just sit together in the same room, not saying anything just understanding.  My mum has been awesome too. For Xmas she bought me this lovely huge pink fluffy jumper and said it was for when I’m having a bad day and she can’t be there to cuddle me. I maybe 32 but I apreciate mummy cuddles more than ever 💜

Thank you to you all for being amazing people with really big hearts.